Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Stalking the Stalker

A former co-worker, Denis, recently revealed he had a stalker while at the workplace (my current one). After much questioning, I came to the conclusion the stalker Denis referred to was a girl who liked him.

Denis sent me a recent email asking after his stalker. Below is my response.

Monday 10:00 am - caught site of stalker in hallway. Plan was made to stalk the stalker.
Monday 10:01 am -
followed stalker. Heard sniffling. Stalker may be missing stalkee.
Monday 10:02 am - stalker sneezed. Stalker has allergies or a cold.
Monday 10:02 am - bored following stalker. Need new plan.

Tuesday 10:00 am -
decided to take up smoking. Bought pack of Virginia Slims in attempt to fit in with smoking crowd and look feminine at the same time.
Tuesday 10:01 am - stalker spotted at smoking spot. Pulled out cigarettes and lit up.
Tuesday 10:01 am - coughed up a lung and had asthma attacked. Sidelined and stalker lost.

Wednesday 9:42 am -
new plan in place and new time.
Wednesday 9:43 am -
conferred with Carrieann (co-worker). Will place bug in stalker's phone. I will distract stalker and Carrieann will place bug in phone. (We think an ant will work)

Plans for Thursday -
dress in black. Look up planting bugs on internet. Play Mission Impossible theme song while working (song on cell phone - so covered.) Report back to stalkee.


little sister :) said...

hey girlie
this was so funny, i loved it. how have you been? i have missed reading your stuff. i have been posting on myspace. i found a cool circle of folks. they are nice even if my stuff sucks :) i just posted some of the new stuff on my poetry illness. lots of love :)

Cincysundevil said...

No one ever stalks me. I guess watching me during the day would be as exciting as watching paint dry. My biggest thrill this week was getting a huge last minute production request. It involved me sitting at my desk with a marker crossing out personal information in the reports (see, you're bored already ;) ...)