Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Women can be Disgusting

The secret is out and I can't cover for my gender any longer. Go into any women's bathroom or locker room and the truth will be revealed.

Disgusting behavior comes when a woman, the culprit, believes in assured anonymity. I'll try to spare you the most unmentionable details.

Examples from my gym:

  • A large wad of hair was seen on the floor of the ladies' locker room. (Dead hair tends to gross me out and make me gag.) Through the gagging reflex, my conscious thought was that some chick had cleaned out her hair brush dumping the remains for everyone to get sick over. Thank you very much. As I headed out to the weight room, I passed a trash can that also contained another lovely wad of the same color hair. Ugh. This poor woman was loosing her hair and must have been freaking out to leave behind such evidence on the floor of the locker room and on the top of the trash bin, right?

  • During the winter, the ickiest place on earth is the woman's bathroom at the gym. On any given day, toilet paper and a snow mud slush combine together on the bathroom floor making using the bathroom without staying on your tip toes impossible.

Public Bathroom examples in general:

  • Splatters of urine left on the toilet seat by the squatters

  • Paper towels / toilet paper strewn across the floor

  • One woman, who muttered an apology as I passed her to enter the one stall bathroom, left such a nasty surprise she herself refuse to flush it. Thank you for leaving me that wonderful task.
I wonder if I am the only woman to clean the public facilities that I use because of the above behavior.

Fellow blogger Mopey Southern Chick wrote about bathroom humor today and for a moment I thought she stole my blog idea. While I know there are voices in my head, I am pretty sure she's not one of them. But that's another story for another day...

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Life since Monday

I've had a revelation:

I really, really need people in my day to day life. Working from home has not been great for me. Put me in a cubicle environment again and I'm talking my neighbors to death.

Even if the drive sucks and the gas prices are going to send me to the poor house, I am having fun working along side people again. Hearing the hum of hallway conversations is making me smile.

Even yesterday, bored to tears because I had no computer access, I enjoyed the workplace. I'm so weird.

Still trying to figure out my schedule and finding time to do stuff. Maybe soon will write a real post....

Life may not continue swimmingly but I think this slice is looking up.

Friday, April 21, 2006

New Job

Starting Monday, I will no longer be working from home. I have a new job. One that requires a hell of a commute, but is steering me back into my chosen field.

I am nervous and excited and a little scared. More excited as I am extricating myself from hermithood.

I keep thinking I will miss some of the home life however. Being able to take a walk outside at any time of the day mainly while the sun is still out, for example. I know as the months wind up to summer this will not be a worry; however, the thought crosses my mind.

Or not being able to wear my fuzzy slippers all day, another example. Yet how often do I wear them all day? Maybe too many days.

Meeting new people and finding new adventures as I travel a hundred and twenty miles (did I just really verbalize that? Oh thank God. I only wrote it. It still isn't real. Hope the traffic isn't bad.) are going to be what I look forward to everyday.

I get to be more organized as I fit in waking up earlier, walking, and blogging every morning. Maybe, I'll blog at night. Maybe I'll exercise at night too. Hmmmm. I have a poetry class starting at night soon. I'll have to change the schedule around on those days....

Scheduling will take some more thought.

I am still smiling though.


Monday, April 17, 2006

Patriots' Day

To make up a snow day, a few years ago, my grad accounting class met Patriots Day afternoon. We had a our midterm coming up and needed the extra session. I had lived in Boston for four months and the dawning of spring seemed like a blessing. This was the first warm week since winter. The windows were open and every few minutes a cheer would break through our professor's lecture. Marathoners were running past.

Patriots' Day was the first holiday that I spent in Boston and the first new holiday to me since I came into this world. I had never celebrated Patriot's Day in Georgia.

Today is a fun day. The Sox are playing. The Marathon is running. No matter what the calendar or the weather says, this day is the definite welcoming of Spring.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

I'm Off... Will Return Patriots Day

Happy Bunny Hopping Holiday!

Happy Pesach/Passover!

Happy Easter!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

A Midday Walk

The sun is pouring radiation down on the river. House windows are gleaming reflecting activity that surrounds them.

My eyes squint to see the contractors putting up a new house on the water front. Impulsively I wave. One waves back surprised at the hello from a stranger.

A bicyclist passes me with a "nice day" and I smile a yes.

The mommy and me group power walk their strollers. Grandkids are playing on the green.

A guy at the vitamin store is complaining about tax season as I make my purchase that will counter balance some of the junk I place in my mouth.

Boys are discussing boats unloading for the start of season at the sandwich shop.

One business guy is contemplating life along the crowded boardwalk.

The river is glistening.

Midday joggers are standing waiting for coffee at a local shop while people with laptops are huddled at the tables.

A few steps more and I arrive at my door.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Another One Bites the Dust

Dammit. I have heard from the Nigerians again.

Lost another relative.

The letters I are disturbing. They state a relative has died and Mr. Nealy, the Nigerian representative contacting me, wants to take a portion of my hard earned inheritance and give me only ten percent of it!!!!

What's up with that?

Granted ten percent of thirty million dollars is still three million.

I understand Mr. Nealy will be handling all the paper work and incurring expense to transfer the money to me. But am I really expected to give Mr. Nealy my bank account number to gain a percentage of some inheritance from a family I did not know I had?

I know. I know.

Mr. Nealy is trying to do justice by me and I should cut him a break. I will still receive three million dollars from his hard work and my relatives' dying.

I am actually very upset with my dead relatives. Why do they feel need to travel to a country where so many wind up dead? Don't they know that Nigeria kills people? I have talked to others and they are also losing relatives left and right in Nigeria.

Do not let your relatives, especially the ones you don't know about, under any circumstances travel to Nigeria. They will die.

*** I know everyone gets these emails. Last week was excessive having received three such emails which were extremely upsetting due to the many deaths of non-existent people.***

Monday, April 10, 2006

Rock, Paper, Scissors

The game is now a sport in Las Vegas?

Apparently yes. Las Vegas held a Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament this past weekend.

I went on the web to confirm that the tournament was actually played and to my surprise a Rock Paper Scissors search came up with 118,000 links.

Oh. My. God. You are kidding, right?

Several RPS, as it called by regional clubs, sites help RPS members become more strategic at the game.

To me, strategy for RPS is kin to having strategy for a coin toss. (and if there is a coin toss strategy - I don't want to know.)

I have some fond childhood memories of RPS. Maybe that's why I bought this t-shirt two years ago.

Nah, I just liked the play on words.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Tagged - I'm IT

I have been tagged by the irrepressible Cincysundevil. Everyone should play- a- long.

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you? : The Long Black Veil - the Chieftains - I am not sure I like this game

Will I have a happy life? : Leaving on a Jet Plane (remake) - Me First and The Gimme Gimmes. - I have no idea what this means.

What do my friends really think of me? : Pump it Up - Elvis Costello - Hold on a second I'm dancing now.

What do people secretly think of me? : Lay it Down - Magnapop - I can only assume this means my neurosis.

How can I be happy?: Head Over Heals - The Go-Gos - Thank God - a happy song - at last.

What should I do with my life? : Monkey Gone to Heaven - The Pixies - and down again. Maybe I need a new song list?

Will I ever have children? : Still Waiting - Sum 41- Now I'm Laughing.

What is some good advice for me? : What I Got - Sublime- Excellent!!!!

How will I be remembered? : Let me Blow your Mind - Eve with Gwen Steffani - I can live with this.

What is my signature dancing song? : Teenage Riot -Sonic Youth- Got a beat and I can dance to it.

What do I think my current theme song is? : Plea from a Cat named Virtue - The Weakerthans- considering the above songs and my past year this could be accurate.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is? : They Can't Take that Away from Me - Billie Holiday - Only child syndrome, maybe?

What song will play at my funeral? : You Send Me - Sam Cooke - Laughing again!!! Love it. I now insist this be played.

What type of men/women do you like? : Hella Good - No Doubt - Yup, Uh huh.

What is my day going to be like? : R.G.S. - Cheap Suits - this song puts a smile on my face.

I open this to everyone, but I'll tag Dahli and Mopeychick. I know they don't usually do Memes, but maybe, just maybe....

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The Guest List

The Guest List I thought was a magical thing, a key that would unlock the door to adventures when I was eighteen and worshipped at the alters of guitars and drums.

The music store where I worked allowed me access to the guest list. All the guitar and drum brethren were there and some who worshipped the keyboard and the bass. Better, some of the chosen played and happily would place me on the list.

I, full of excitement each and every time, put out on the wire to all friends: we are going to a club. The gang dressed to the nines, a dead giveaway, and headed for the club where the barrier awaited us.

The bouncer, the one man who never understood that we held the key: we were on the list. The doors should spring open and let us through, shouldn't they?

They never did. Not even when I was a forty year old woman three inches shorter with blue eyes or so my ID told these paragons of bouncerdom.

I would turn away, denied what I thought was mine, heading with friends to some all- ages place.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Something's Nutty in the World of Chocolate

What the ?

Remember when chocolate was chocolate? When Hershey and Snickers stood for candybars that made your teeth rot and would ruin the dinner your mom made? Or when the candybars were just a chocolate fix you had to have?

No more!!

Now you can get a Payday Pro Energy bar!

Try a the new line of Snickers Marathon bars: an Energy bar, an Energy bar for Women, for you Atkins' lovers - a Low Carb Lifestyle bar, or a Performance Protein bar.

Now while chewing each cardboard bite(I actually haven't tried these brands, but from research into other "performance bars" most taste icky.), you can make believe that you are eating that sinful candybar.

(Ok, maybe the point chocolate companies are making is they can make 'health' bars taste good.)

In reality, would I buy a 'health' bar from a candy company? Only if I wanted to pretend that I was eating something healthy.

But I can pretend I am eating healthy with a regular chocolate bar. Milk chocolate has vitamin D, calcium, and iron. Dark chocolate has anti-oxidants. Chocolate with nuts has....

Singing .... Walking in the Rain

'Anyone who lives in the Northeast that does not take advantage of this weather by getting the hell outdoors has to be sick or a vampire. '

That was my thought this morning after completing my walk and rewarding myself with a French Toast bagel. I was walking towards home lost in these thoughts when I ran into an old work friend.

I walked with her to get her morning muffin while catching up.

Rain began. Not a cold rain that has you scurrying but a summer rain. A rain that's nice to walk in.

My friend headed back to her home and I started walking back toward mine.

I love walking in the rain when the weather is warm.

Of course I looked like I drowned when I walked through my door. Still I have my paper, my coffee, and now the sun has come out.

Time to walk again.