Looking Back

I know it's cliché to look back over the old year and look into the new one. Normally I don't engage in cliché, at least I hope I don't without being comic. This past year, however, was full changes for me, and I can't help look back without some wistfulness and some joy. Two thousand and five was year that my friends and I have talked about as good and bad.

The year started out in normality. I traveled, for work, to Irvine, California for three weeks right after the dawn of the New Year. I had one planned flight out over a weekend for my grandmother's eighty ninth birthday party. The next weekend I was to go to Disneyland with some friends. It would be my first ever Disney park experience.

During the week I found out that my best friend's grandmother was succumbing to cancer. Nena died that week and I attended the funeral that weekend. (My best friend, Maria, and her family are my family at heart.) Nena was the maternal heart of the de la Torres. Her loss is still being felt. Already the year was a mixture of celebration and pain.

In February I visted London and Paris to train employees on new software. I met up with an old friend, Peter, in England; a man I like to think of as my wise friend. He wears wisdom around him like most people do clothes. I also took a day and saw Paris. Well a part of Paris. I loved and treasure that day. In March, I blogged my experiences in San Diego and Mobile. March was a truly good month. I gained confidence and calm with the events that took place then.

Later that spring I flew down for Sloane's birthday party. Sloane turned a year old and is Maria's second child and my godson's sister. I had renewed contact with a person I had met the year before. I met him in Atlanta in May for the birthday party and began to realize how to enjoy life again as I had not done for several months.

Unfortunately life became a whirlwind shortly after. During the summer I faced unexpected medical news that sent me into a tailspin and shoved my new found knowledge aside. I retreated from life a little. I also held onto, probably too tightly, to my friends. Luckily they helped me through the roughest parts of that summer and the events that ensued through the rest of the year.

Fall and Winter have not been especially wonderful except for a few bright events that have taught me more about myself. I have learned when to work on and when let go of events that change me. I learned this through my friend I renewed touch with earlier in the year. I also learned friends take all shapes and forms. I have a revived creative drive thanks to some people who inspired me through their own blogs. (Thank you Aileen, and Erica.) A new love of the outdoors came to me this fall, and last month I remembered what Christmas is through children's eyes.

A New Years call came from a friend who I have not seen for about a year. Maybe she is renewing and reflecting too.